Some people take quiet showers. Some people sing show tunes in the shower. When M is in the shower, however, the sounds we overhear are some combination of PBS and the History Channel. Here was last night’s episode:
In a bad Scottish accent: “Macbeth, Macbeth! Beware the thane of Fife!” This was repeated a couple more times, in different but equally bad Scottish accents.
Then a musical interlude “Dum dum de-dum dum dum de-dum” that was vaguely reminiscent of the Nutcracker, as he segued from Shakespeare to the evening’s main theme, great speeches throughout history.
His Winston Churchill accent was quite good, although his accuracy was a little off: “Victory will be ours! Victory at all costs, victory by sea, land and air, victory all our might and with all our strength.”
Roosevelt’s initial accent sounded exactly like Churchill: “December 7th, 1941 — a date which will live in infamy — the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the Empire of Japan.” This bit got repeated two or three more times, with the Empire of Japan sounding increasingly sinister each time.
Another musical interlude of humming not-quite-the-Nutcraker finally got him off the day of infamy.
Next up was John F. Kennedy calling on us to “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” This came with a rather burbly accent as if JFK had been underwater; we think at this point M was washing his hair.
“I have a dream” burble burble “that someday my children will live in a nation” burble burble “where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Well, Martin Luther King must have washed his hair sometimes, too.
And finally, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” Reagan sounded like a robotic cross between Churchill and the Daleks. But it’s not like M would have heard recordings of Reagan all that often.
The water turned off and the show was over.
E and I can’t help but wonder what will happen when M goes away to college and starts showering in a dorm….